Search This Blog

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Where is she....

I had a dog growing up that always hid under the kitchen table after (or while) some sort of crime had been committed. Now I have a daughter who does the same.

My first clue is always the lack of whining, questioning, or singing...when it's quiet I know she's up to no good. I look around, calling her name in a curious and nonthreatening tone. "Caroline??? Where a---rrrr----eee you?" I ask sweetly. Innocent until proven guilty, right? I check the pantry, because she had a phase recently that included sneaking in the pantry, closing the door, and then snacking on something until she was discovered. It was usually dry pasta (ick) or peanut butter, which she would lick with her ridiculously long tongue (ick ick.) Hmmm...not there.

Next, I scanned the computer area, as she enjoys popping the tiny magnets from the "chore chart" into her mouth like M&Ms. No, she doesn't eat them...she just has a mouth fetish. I guess I should be thankful she doesn't have a nose fetish! Not there...

I cringe to think what sort of mess/project/experiment may be occurring in the bathroom. Sometimes I'll find an entire box worth of tissues, each used for a single touch of the nose then wadded up and placed on a square tile- so that each tile has one used tissue adorning it. (My daughter, the artist.) Other times I will find the sink filled with water and the bath toys from upstairs (or any other toys that might fit into the sink) and the tell tale trail of water to her exact position. I actually prefer those options over the last...the messiest. She is quite independent in the bathroom, so she will confidently go in, lock the door and do her business. We haven't quite mastered the "big potty," so sometimes she will use her little Bjorn potty. All is good in the world until she tries to "tidy up" after herself. She will attempt to pour the contents of the little potty into the big potty...and this is rarely a complete success. I will come in (long after she has been there) to find a pretty good indication of every single move she made while in the bathroom. Of course I can't get upset, because she's doing such a wonderful job with it all and truly TRYING to clean up the mess. But can I just say that it is not a pleasant task.

Back to the subject. So, if there is no signs of her presence in the potty, I know she must be 1) either trying on my shoes in my closet; or 2) under the kitchen table hiding from me. So far she's been under the table about 10 times...eating Owen's Valentine's Day candy, licking from the peanut butter jar, snacking on Hudson's "Veggie Puffs," or munching on her barrettes. She's also hid under the bar stool, although this is definitely not a good hiding place, as I can see her clearly. And once or twice I've caught her under the dining room table with something fun, like the watercolor paints (RED) and Silly Putty (yes, I did have to cut it from her hair.)

What's the deal? Is it part of her game? Is she trying to have a snack AND play hide and seek with me? I doubt I'll ever know. The hardest part is once I find her, she has such an adorable little smile on her face that it's near impossible to focus on crime! I send her to the stairs for her time out for not "asking" for whatever it is that she's swiped...all the while hoping that these are NOT indicative of her behavior as a teenager.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Naked Girl

As a bonus to Caroline's "changing into several outfits and tutus a day" fetish, we see a lot of her in the raw form. Until now, this has been restricted to home shows...but this week Caroline took her "show" on the road.

We were across the street for a play date and Caroline was feeling so at home, apparently, that she decided it was time to shed her clothes. She and her little partner in crime, London, tiptoed upstairs to dissect the pajama drawer of London's older sister. However, the mismatched slumber girls had their flannels on for only a short time. Just seconds after the fashion show, Owen appeared to announce that there was a "vagina party" taking place in the laundry room. Hmm.

I'm hoping this term was one of Owen's creations and not something he's seen on tv or heard about at school (Christian education has made some big changes, I guess.)

Owen does have an active imagination...once, when I was nursing Hudson he asked if I had "milk" on one side and "food" on the other.

Monday, February 1, 2010

How does she know to use the permanent marker???!

Ug. This is NOT what I want to discover on my way upstairs to bed. There is only one possible offender: Caroline. Owen does not snoop in the "mommy only" drawers and Hudson is not yet tall enough. Plus, Caroline has not been caught doing anything sneaky or messy in the last 3 hours, so I'm not entirely surprised. I am a little curious though, as to why she replaced the cap. Did she make a horrible mess on something large and important (like the wall or carpet) and try to wash or cover up the marks and then, realizing that she had made a grave mistake, cover the pen with its cap- vowing never again to be mischievous? No.
I searched the house for signs of Caroline's signature- the hallways, bedrooms, furniture...all free from black scribbles. After 10 minutes of investigating, I decide to call it a night. Today I completely forgot about the incident...until this evening, when I pull out Hudson's Christmas puppy (the one that sings his name and the one he enjoys giving wet willies.) Either it's the ghetto puppy version Tag, or Caroline has graffitied the back of the poor green fluffy pup.
Inside, I'm a bit relieved. Frankly I don't think Hudson cares much, although all the slobbering he does on his things I hope his mouth avoids the permanent marked backside of Tag. It can't be good to digest. I also hope that was her only victim.
Caroline lucked out tonight, as I made the discovery while we had company over and the kids were off to bed afterwards. Should I make her scrub the little hound to help her learn about the idea of permanence? Hm. I'm sure she'll commit some other offense by morning and we'll be dealing with that instead.

Late night Balmex finger painting

This is a small snapshot (literally) of the kids' bathroom last night. I walked in the house after a quick trip to the grocery store (quick because there were no children with me) and PR informed me that Caroline had been busy in the bathroom. You see, Caroline duped her sweet but gullible daddy into leaving her door ajar. She then broke free and headed straight for the bathroom in search for some messy entertainment. I scanned the rest of the bathroom for evidence before deciding on a guess of her motives and sneaky activities.
The evidence in custody:
  • pile of balmexed baby washcloths
  • baby hair brush covered in diaper rash cream
  • several pairs of socks, pajama pieces, and undergarments shoved into the trash (also covered in- you guessed it- Balmex.)
  • 2 tubes of assorted baby diaper rash cream, nearly empty
  • smeared fingerprints made from diaper rash cream

No Sherlock Holmes required here. But I'm not sure if she first found the tubes and then looked for something to decorate or actually made the mess and was trying to clean up the crime scene. Lucky for us, the floors are tile. Lucky for her, she was already sleeping when I discovered the Balmexed bathroom.